Ever since moving, we have fallen into a standard list of places that we like visit when we have nothing else to do. One of those places is Petsmart. You get to see cute dogs, birds, and cats all under one roof without feeling sad about puppy mills. What's not to love?
One of the things I never noticed until recently was that the store appears to have a working relationship with two icons of Americana. That's right.
Martha Stewart
Brett Michaels
It's literally almost like the people at Petsmart put a bunch of celebrities into a goldfish bowl (they have plenty on hand, you know) and drew out two. What perfection though. They have Martha to appeal to Suzie HomeMaker (who, by the way, has a family composed of only dogs/cats so she really has to work hard at this home making thing) and Brett to appeal to people who want their dogs to join biker gangs. Check out those intimidating dogs he's petting.
Let me show you my favorite pieces from their Christmas collections:
Martha's holiday picks. They are really delightful looking, actually. Just what you might expect from Martha Stewart. I actually won't taint her image by mocking any of these items... well, except, to point out my favorite one.
A Katsack! If you have never seen one of these before, they are most famous for Mike Rowe (Dirty Jobs/Ford pushing Mike Rowe) making fun of them during his 90s QVC days.
This crinkle sock, as Martha calls it, serves the same purpose and function. I have a video of myself crinkling it that I shall add later. I mean, you need to know how well it works before you rush over to petsmart.com to order it, right?
The Brett Michaels collection is incredibly bizarre and leaves much more room for commentary.
I am saddened by how blurry this image turned out. Good thing I have some choice close ups!
Here we have the collection's name sake, Brett Michaels, in all his Christmas glory. If you ever wanted to watch your dog tear this man apart, this is the toy for you. If only Martha had designed a similar Martha chew toy! I am a little concerned about the safety of having that long fake hair on the toy. Here's my prediction: recalled before Christmas. Pets have enough trouble choking on their own hair! In other news, you can also see his delightful logo designed for this collection -- a skull with a Santa hat. Nothing screams Christmas like dead bodies.
This is a gingerbread man toy with nipple rings. Not since Christmas with the Kranks has Christmas been so heavily disrespected. Who dreamed this up? I can't even imagine the thought process. "Let's make a really edgy gingerbread man. Jeans, check. Bracelet, check. Black and red Santa scarf and hat, check... It's just not enough. I want this to be PG-13. What about nipple rings? Don't invite the kids over this Christmas!"
And the winner for weirdest item in the bunch is a costume designed for the person that wants his/her dog to wear Christmas lingerie. I really wish I could find a picture of a dog wearing this. Maybe I can get the boy to do a mock-up sketch. See thru skirt? Not a classy Christmas choice.
So this is going to be my first Christmas season away from home. Don't get me wrong, I have lived separate from my family for years now, but this time I am 5 hours away. That's about two Lifetime Holiday made for TV movies. I think this year more than ever it is important for me to share my Christmas online in as many forms as possible. So I type this on my swanky iPad and am listening to good holiday tunes on Pandora radio... And I type it with ambitious hopes of creating something that lessens the distance between my heart and yours (even if that distance is as far away as Iowa).
I wanted to hold off on decorating this year, but then we bought a new bookshelf. This is a tall type bookshelf that actually had to be anchored into the wall.... And it left an odd strap in view. (Full disclosure, I am pretty sure that it is not anchored correctly). We needed something to cover that strap, and what would be better than a tiny Christmas tree?
Isn't it beautiful?
I think my favorite thing about this picture is how violently bright the little tree looks. In fact, you may not know that is a tree up there if I didn't tell you. I think the light reflecting off of the ceiling really adds to the effect. It's Christmas time, guys. Get your jolly on.
Scrooges might say.... It is too early to celebrate Christmas. What happened to Thanksgiving?
Well, those people are missing the beauty of it. We can have it all. This is America, after all. We can eat turkey and wear Santa hats and exchange reasons to be thankful.
Day 9 of November and I am thankful for:
1. I hate to brag so much, but I really am working at the perfect school for me.
2. My family and friends are amazing. I get to see them all soon!!
